Friday 30 March 2012

Describe friendship...


To me...

Friendship is the most comfortable feeling on Earth. Knowing that there is someone to whom you can talk about anything and everything, without pre-formed apprehension of how the message will be received and how the judgements will be made, truly gives me an unparalleled sense of belonging. The way I talk with my friends pretty much determines the kind of friendship that we share. With some, I mutter a few words and they instantly can get a grasp on every thought in my mind. Mutual understanding seems to flow on a perfect path, sometimes so perfect that I feel I am living a novel where everything that occurred had been ingeniously set out for me by the Lord and I had to do nothing except reap them. There are others to whom I speak and write my thoughts like if they came to replace the personal diary I never kept. These are people I feel free to trust. I do trust all my friends, and where it is difficult to, I at least make an effort to trust them but I cannot deny that there are some special ones who stand out for the foundation of trust is what supports our relationship, contrary to others, whose friendship is the foundation on which trust stands. There are yet a few whom I deeply appreciate for one exceptional reason that is heavy enough to stand on its own: for granting me their complete focus, for paying attention to every little thing that I say, for creating that comfy and welcoming atmosphere that makes you want to hold time tight that it be unable to move. For a few seconds, I feel like I were the most important being to them on Earth, a feeling which can be really therapeutic no matter the depth of sadness I've drowned myself in. Everybody is important for himself, fact. But concentrating on someone, in its truest sense, cannot be done unless with the sacrifice of oneself-- of one's own thoughts, opinions, and the urge to voice them out. This attention, undeserved perhaps, stealthily breaks all the barriers of fear and resistance, securely nurtures trust and also maintains it. There is one category of friends inside my circle who perhaps I value most, in my own little court of justice with the magistrates advocating fairness for loyalty. They are the ones who stand by my side no matter how rough the tides might be, sometimes even when I am illusorily standing on a shark I imagine to be an oasis in the sea. I wonder if I esteem them more than I pity them for being my friends then. But for sure, if they stayed there with me when I stood alone on that little oasis of mine, they will forever stay in my heart.

Of course, my frame is not all cherry pink. I fight with my friends, regularly, as substitute for the digestive pill I need to take for the meals I cannot digest. The satisfaction though that remains after a fight lies in knowing that even when I am the most annoying, pestilent, spiteful, insensitive, boringly grouchy and intolerable individual on Earth, I am not alone! 
I mean, I still have some people to bear my heavy load-- what did you think?

True friends are not chosen, they are just made. They just happen, like part of a natural process we are least prepared to predict and always ready to ignore. Because even though there is a human tendency to get attracted to the people we most want to resemble, this attraction perishes if it is not regularly fed with care and attention from both sides. If you haven't had your lifetime friends yet, then perhaps you need to continue believing and show patience, or perhaps they came but you lacked vigilance.

I have observed that all human beings, no matter how stunning their personalities can be, deep down share a common fear, though the degree of this fear varies: the fear of being lonely in an over-crowded world. Good friends will teach you to overcome this fear. They will bear the worst of you, they will bring out the best in you, and in appreciating the person that you are instead of the image which you want to project of yourself, they will teach you to value your intrinsic self. Theoretically, that could imply stuck self-development. But practically speaking, it is in truly accepting yourself that you can aim to become better. It is in knowing your faults that you can subside, if not completely eliminate them. And friends help you, to become better.

If you are one of my friends and, on reading the few characteristics I have mentioned above there is a smile on your face, then know that I am glad to have you and that I will jealously keep you until the day I bye this world. :)



What is it to you?


To you as a person who has lived on Earth, met people, and experienced firsthand. 

There are many definitions around the web. Try to give an answer as subjective as possible, based on your own personal experience. You are sure it will be something no one could replicate. Be as explicit as you can, and as genuine as you can.

The best reply will be posted here, with due credit given to the writer.

Good luck!



Until someone else finds better:


"I never wrote here, in fear what I say may not be accepted by the author. But I am now, because I managed to overcome the fear, well, suddenly?

First of all, friendship is a state of mind, which is exhibited by both the friends. A state of mind in which you hold affection for each other. You may not express it or may not be able to express it, but there is a "telepathic" (?) communication which enables each other to know themselves. Perhaps I am not clear enough. This is the first requirement of friendship and this, cannot be developed consciously. It "just happens".

Secondly, friends will always care for each other. This will manifest itself in several sub-qualities: 1)They will always desire the best for each other. 2) They will understand each other and provide mutual support (could be emotional only) 3) They will trust each other and 4) They will have empathy for each other, or the ability to put oneself in other's shoes

Will friends fight? Yes, they will. But this fight will not mean that they will stop the "telepathy", for it cannot be stopped in a true friendship... Nor can a true friend ever desire bad for the other."

~B




12 comments:

  1. Friendship, what is friendship?! Friendship is nothing more then a name given to relation between two travellers who have the same destination and during the course of their journey get to know each other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you alphabravocharlie. :)
      You are the first one. So, your definition gets in the post until someone else finds better.

      Delete
  2. Friendship is knowing that someone in this whole wide world is as silly as u. And this makes possible for each of you to understand each other and be happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "As silly as you"... it's debatable. Is silliness a prerequisite for two people to be able to understand each other?

      Thank you for trying. Much appreciated. :)

      Delete
  3. I never wrote here, in fear what I say may not be accepted by the author. But I am now, because I managed to overcome the fear, well, suddenly?

    First of all, friendship is a state of mind, which is exhibited by both the friends. A state of mind in which you hold affection for each other. You may not express it or may not be able to express it, but there is a "telepathic" (?) communication which enables each other to know themselves. Perhaps I am not clear enough. This is the first requirement of friendship and this, cannot be developed consciously. It "just happens".

    Secondly, friends will always care for each other. This will manifest itself in several sub-qualities: 1)They will always desire the best for each other. 2) They will understand each other and provide mutual support (could be emotional only) 3) They will trust each other and 4) They will have empathy for each other, or the ability to put oneself in other's shoes

    Will friends fight? Yes, they will. But this fight will not mean that they will stop the "telepathy", for it cannot be stopped in a true friendship... Nor can a true friend ever desire bad for the other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't understand here how the author may not accept whatever that you said?

      I totally agree with you. State of mind, affection, telepathic communication, "just happens", mutual care and support and trust, and empathy. Well, yes, there will be fights too. In those fights, you get know which of the two is more important: your ego, or your friend.

      And, there should be mutual respect as well.^
      One of my friends always argues that respect and communication are the lifeblood of all relationships, and I do think he has a point.

      Thank you for passing by-- and overcoming your fear. ;)

      Delete
    2. Last thing, we live in a free world. So, even if what you will say is not agreeable to me, I have the right to respectfully argue your point, and you to defend it. Feel free.

      Delete
  4. wow nice post
    www.quranteaching.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Zohair.
      Nice site as well. :)

      Delete
  5. "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
    - Charles Caleb Colton

    (hafsa hassan :D)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True. Very true. :)
      Thanks for passing by Hafsa. See you again.

      Delete
  6. Lots of information and thank you for sharing more information relative to each other and logical.

    ReplyDelete